Listen with your heart

I like to spend a little bit of time each day on something I like to call “on time” which I adopted from Todd Duncan. This can also be called a sales tip or a business booster because quite honestly so much of what we do in the mortgage and real estate market is tied to relationships. On time is simply working ON your business, not IN your business for a certain period of time each day. See, we really need to make sure we stop and focus on spending time on our processes, on our knowledge, on our self improvement and on and on. I think for those of us that really get this “on time” concept; it naturally flows over into our business and makes us better human beings. Heck, even if it doesn’t translate into a new deal or additional income, it will seemingly improve the health of our interactions with others.


John Maxwell is one of my favorite authors to read when I’m spending some on time. In his book 25 Ways to Win With People: how to make others feel like a million bucks, he talks about listening with your heart. How huge is listening??? It’s essential but most of us only listen to others because we know our turn to speak is coming! John says that to listen with your heart, your listening has to be active. He explains that the fundamental cause of nearly all communication problems is that people don’t listen to understand; they listen to reply. Is that true for you like it has been for me? I have worked to take a tip from John and write an ‘L’ at the top of my paper when I sit down to meet with someone so that I remind myself to listen. I hope that eventually this will become a habit.

It’s important that in our society we focus to eliminate the distractions such as phone calls, TV, pagers, email and texting when we are seeking to listen to someone. These things make good listening nearly impossible. Another major barrier to effective listening is assumptions. When you jump to conclusions with someone you are taking away your incentive to listen because you already have your mind made up. Finally, (a big one for me) is pride. Thinking we have little to learn from others is, perhaps, the most deadly of distractions because we leave little room for input from others in that situation.

When we strive for active listening we communicate that we are fully in the moment and the other person knows it. Maxwell reminds us that the best way to persuade is with your ears.

I hope that you can find a way to incorporate this “on time” into your business, but most importantly, into your life.